T-minus Seventeen weeks

Ok, for real this time:

McCain Jokes

While writing a not-that-good post that I later deleted, it occurred to me that this is a really crazy headline to see about a major Presidential contender:

McCain jokes about killing Iranians with cigarettes

This is his second joke-like utterance about destroying Iranians, the first being "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran". Matt Yglesias points out that if Ahmadinejad made a comparable joke, like, I don't know, "We will send hamburgers on the wings of glorious angels to kill the Great Satanists where they Eat", it would probably be viewed as evidence that Iran is run by insane people whom you Cannot Meet Unconditionally and Should Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb. Of course, Iran probably has already drawn that conclusion about a McCain administration, and if so they are correct.
But maybe McCain was just trying to create more Conditions. Now if he "meets" the enemy, they will know that they better give him whatever he wants or he will lunge across the table and feebly gnaw at their faces or something. This could (i.e., would certainly) backfire. The Iranians c(w)ould say, "The hell with this, let's just kill any Americans we see before they cigarette our babies to death".
But if it did work, imagine the possibilities: A military industrial complex of weird half-assed jokes about death to enemy civilians. I see Jay Leno as the potential czar of this empire:

Jay: Hey Kev, you hear that the U.S. is putting used land mines in teddy bear exports?
Kevin Eubanks of The Tonight Show Band (stoned): What?
Jay: Probably to kill the North Koreans!
Kev:
Jay: We're killin' some North Koreans (to the tune of "Good
Vibrations")
Kev: What the fuck.

Hell, I'd start watching.

T-minus Seventeen weeks

We're skipping the obama-mccain map this week because fivethirtyeight hasn't updated their map in a few days, there isn't much new polling. Instead, here's a bonus wednesday image, made by my mom.

Hey- Look Over here!

Astounding Transformations

Miranda July (De)Mystifies Button Making


If you haven't been exposed to Miranda July's trademark brand of creepster whimsy, you should get on it. I just started her collection of short stories and it makes me actually chuckle aloud on public transportation in a particularly satisfying and unsettling way that makes me feel like a sex offender. Maybe I just feel like a sex offender because my favorite story so far is about a middle-aged woman's lurid anilingus fantasies about Prince William.

I think searching Merriam-Webster.com just now for the spelling of anilingus was a professional mistake. Realization, 3:57 P.M.: Why are both my posts so far about assholes? This is an unexpected and alarming pattern.

The Wednesday Image

Change We Can Believe In

Watch me undergo a sexy but tasteful transformation. Thank you to my pal Will (Mo's video director) for getting me this spot.



I'm feelin ready to marry a very old man and kickstart his political career via wealth and connections!