Third Time's the Charm!

We've all heard that celebrities die in threes. A while back it was Gerald Ford, James Brown and Saddam Hussein. Before that Mitch Hedberg, Johnny Cochran and Pope John Paul II. Before that Cervantes, Shakespeare, and Inca historian Garcilaso de la Vega. Coincidence? No.
Now that George Carlin and Tim Russert have both died of heart problems, someone has to come next. But who?
Well, usually two important people die at the same time as a relatively unimportant person (Cochran, Ford, the Inca guy). Some people think Russert was important, but they are confused. "If it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press," they said, even though, as everyone knows, if it's Sunday, it's no one has ever watched TV on Sunday morning.
So someone important has to die, preferably of heart disease. The obvious candidate is John McCain. But he didn't crash land his jet on a Vietnamese infant just to come back and die right as his weird long-term plan for political ascendancy (Step 1: Crash; Step 2: ASCEND) comes to fruition.
But wait! Sometimes a black guy dies too (Cochran, Brown, the Inca guy (?)). Bill Russell? I hope not, because he is awesome. This strongly indicates that Clarence Thomas will die on the bus tomorrow. He will be so angry at black people that his heart will explode. He will die as he lived, in his robes, clutching his chest, yelling at the floor.