Obama/MacCain '08!

Now that the media has teamed up with Basic Math and Common Knowledge to defeat Hillary Clinton, people are starting to talk about Obama's running mate. Fortunately we at KoolKatSez have found the perfect answer.
The worst choice is obviously Clinton, the "Dream Ticket" of people who have horribly chosen, asinine dreams.
Others say Bill Richardson, who would inspire Mexicans to stop taking American jobs picking various things long enough to vote for him just because he's Mexican.
But many say Obama needs a white to run with him so that old ignorant white people will accidentally vote for him. John Edwards is a bona fide white, but his old ticket couldn't even beat the worst President in history. That seems to leave only anonymous boring senators from the South.
But what if someone real thought of this:
Pick a guy who kind of looks like McCain. It would help if he was named something like "John MacCain". He could even have a quiet way of speaking, with a weird little lisp and clenched teeth. Maybe he could occasionally call John McCain's wife a cunt.
Consider the two defining characteristics of people who prefer Clinton/McCain to Obama:
1. old
2. stupid
Everyone knows this, because for some reason, the media has been reporting it as though it was a negative for Obama. "You can't win without dumbasses and the ghastly shades of the Greatest Generation" they say. "Can Obama win even though he was educated?" they ask, "even though he may not die of old age while in office?" Can medicated coots ever relate to someone who walks around with no assistance from machines? Can people who cling to shooting gays at abortion clinics ever choose someone who bowls very poorly?
Yes. By choosing a person who is very similar to McCain, we will exploit the shared weakness of the elderly and the dumb: They are very easily confused. We could enhance the effect with clever campaign ads. For example, one ad could show pictures of individual candidates, and ask, "McCain/Romney? Or Obama/MacCain? McCain/Obama? Obama/Romney? MACCAIN/MCCAIN? MCAIN/MACCAIN? MCCAIN! MACCAIN! MACCAIN! MCCAIN! (sponsored by MacCain/Obama)".
And imagine McCain trying to patiently explain this to his constituency, the subtle differences between McCain and MacCain, who, why not, could even show up at McCain events and try to ask questions ("Senator McCain, America wants to know, what is McCain doing in the audience of a MacCain rally?") McCain would eventually just start punching anyone who asked him about the other John, or calling them cunts.
And what is the media going to do? Claim that voters should try to find things out? Read things? Everyone knows old people can't afford glasses and dumb people are functionally illiterate.
Obama/MacCain '08