Things That Would Work Better Than the Gas Tax Holiday

McCain could personally offer to punch every American in the stomach.

• Pros: Would save as much on gas as gas tax holiday; would not fund Middle Eastern terror barons (like a robber baron, but less likely to cause the black lung)
  
• Cons: Even at a rate of one American-punch per second, McCain would be dead long before he could finish.

Clinton could threaten to have high gas prices personally killed.

• Pros: Would save as much on gas as gas tax holiday
  
• Cons: Would help her with crucial Bitter Dumbass demographic

McCain could threaten to wage a billion year war on every gas station that doesn't go back to the gas prices in the old good America from when he fought in WWII.

• Pros: Would save as much on gas as gas tax holiday; would allow McCain to "get it out of his system"; denying the Billion Year Local Gas Stations War option shows moral irresponsibility and reminds me of Neville Chamberlain and emboldens gas station guys
• Cons: Army would have no way to get tanks back out of suburbs when they ran out of gas