One factual statement that no one can deny is that Republicans never do anything cool. This has been true since Taft, who followed his elephant-slaying predecessor by getting stuck in a bathtub*. As a result, every musician hates John McCain.
Most recently, the RNC played "Barracuda" by Heart, who then sent them a cease and desist letter. Of course, the RNC followed in its grand tradition of not paying attention to what a song actually means before they illegally use it, so Heart helpfully pointed out that their anthem against bland corporate misogyny had led to "irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there".
In the article that I Googled so I could link to the Heart story, I also learned that the Republicans weren't even cool enough to use "Hello Dolly" back in 1964 (probably not coincidentally about the time the modern Republican party really got going). The producer who owned the rights even authorized a "Hello Lyndon" version for the DNC just to give the GOP that extra little fuck you.
What's more, I realized that in my earlier round-up of the McCain campaign's pathetic musical sadness, I neglected to mention that Jackson Browne actually sued the Republican Party for using his song "Running On Empty". It's one thing when major musicians like Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan support your opponent. And it's bad enough when Chuck Berry, whom Wonkette considers a hilariously last-choice option for McCain, doesn't like him either. And it probably hurts even more that McCain's favorite band also hates him. But when way-past-their-prime acts who faded out of the spotlight in the Keating Five era, your Mellencamps, your Hearts, your Brownes, give you the finger, that's when you know, and it must be interesting to have proof on such a deep level, that you are a historically lame person.
Bonus Great Thing: According to this letter, which I'd recommend for its interesting take on Palin, "Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her 'Sarah Barracuda' because of her unbridled ambition and predatory ruthlessness." This isn't the greatest source, although it's also not the worst, but I think we can all agree that Palin definitely got her nickname not because of her stand-out point-guard skills in the Alaska women's high school basketball scene, but because she is a cruel, horrible person. Barracuda!
*Note that the last cool Republican quit the party in disgust soon thereafter. This may also be why he killed all those elephants.
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2 comments:
Yeah, since everyone knows the validity of one's political views are entirely dependent on their musical taste, fashion sense, etc.
If, out of all the problems with the Republican party, their "coolness" is the best thing you can think of to write about, I'd say they're doing a better job than you give them credit for.
On the other hand, you might just be a shallow and vapid little shit.
I'm gravitating towards the latter.
hell yes we're shallow. fuck off and go listen to tim mcgraw.
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