Tuesday, August 19, 2008

McCain has Terrible Taste in Music

Apparently Blender magazine asked Obama and McCain to submit their ten favorite songs. The results are exactly what you'd expect. Obama picks awesome things. Springsteen, Nina Simone, Kanye. His top choice is "Ready Or Not" by the Fugees, and he has to be the first serious Presidential contender who has ever even heard of that song. Granted, he puts "Yes We Can" at number 10, but that was probably a joke.
McCain's list is so great that we are going to go through it in its entirety.

1. Dancing Queen, ABBA
Ha ha! Oh man. Well, that's seriously what he picked. Meanwhile it is unmanly for Obama to take his shirt off at the beach. When asked, "What the hell, man", McCain said (and this is true):
"I’ve got to say that a lot of my taste in music stopped about the time I
impacted a surface-to-air missile with my own airplane and never caught up
again.”

What is he talking about? "Dancing Queen" came out after he got back to the U.S.. Also, I like how his phrasing indicates that he saw the missile and deliberately impacted it with his own airplane (this accurately depicts his foreign policy thinking), forever dooming him to like bands that would make music in the next few years.

2. Blue Bayou Roy Orbison
This is a pretty good song.

3. Take a Chance On Me ABBA
Can you imagine if Obama picked two ABBA songs? Jesus. I like the desperation of the title, though.

4. If We MakeIt Through December Merle Haggard
This is also a good song, although it's about scraping through trying times on desperate optimism alone.

5. As Time Goes By Dooley Wilson
This is from Casablanca, which is younger than McCain.

6. Good Vibrations The Beach Boys
This is also a good song.

7. What A Wonderful World Louis Armstrong
This is a good song, although it is probably the lamest thing you could pick if you were obviously trying to pander and go with a black jazz musician.

8. I've Got You Under My Skin Frank Sinatra
Not as good as Obama's Sinatra pick, "You'd Be So Easy to Love", although the titles accurately reflect the sensation of supporting each candidate.

9. Sweet Caroline Neil Diamond
This is one of the most annoying, horrible songs ever recorded.

10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes The Platters
Dave Barry used to mock this as a hilariously lame song that old people request at parties, and Dave is a fairly old guy.

Four good songs, one of which is thematically inappropriate (the Haggard) and none of which are impressive choices. McCain is a terrible decision maker even when it comes to his own personal taste.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. Dancing Queen, ABBA & 3. Take a Chance On Me, ABBA:
Obviously he trying to connect to the homosexual community, which of course you don't care about because only black people matter.

2. Blue Bayou, Roy Orbison
It is quite telling of your own poor taste that your comment is "This is a pretty good song."

4. If We Make..., Merle Haggard
Again, telling of your own horrible taste.

5. As Time Goes By, Dooley Wilson
Yeah, and OLD stuff SUX, huh?

6. Good Vibrations, Beach Boys
Also not a good song.

7. What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
Leave it to the "He Might Be a Racist!" man to construe picking an extremely famous song as "trying to pander" to black people.

8. I've Got...., Sinatra
I've got Obama under my rotten toenail.

9. Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond
Anything by Neil Diamond is one of the most annoying songs ever.

10. Smoke Gets... Platters
Dave Barry's tired jokes stopped being funny 15 years ago.

Anonymous said...

Obama's campaign song should have been "Old Man River."

But instead of "River," the song should say "taxes and shite health care."

You watch. When Obama comes into office, cancer patients' treatment will consist of a condom wrapped around their head and ankle.

Anonymous said...

yeah! probably it will!