Friday, August 1, 2008

Inch-High John McCain!

I have an idea for a cartoon, either as a kids’ show or a comic strip. It would be called Inch-High John McCain, and it would star Inch-High John McCain. This inch-high version of John McCain lives in a pile of M&M’s and travels around in the shirt pocket of his intern, Mark. Mark is a clumsy but good-hearted young guy who runs the entire McCain campaign because he feels bad for Tiny McCain. Together they have a series of adventures en route to trying to get elected. For example, in one episode Mark could meet with major donor Tex Sinister to schedule a fundraising dinner. Through the secret eye-hole in Mark’s pocket, McCain notices that Tex is wearing a FARC lapel pin. When Tex leaves, the following exchange takes place:

IHJM (screaming): Hey Mark!
Mark: What’s up, Inch-High?
IHJM: What’s FARC?
Mark: FARC is a group of Colombian drug bad guys. Banana companies like Mr. Sinister’s sometimes pay them secret money not to murder their workers.
IHJM: MAMIE! That’s not the Inch-High way! We’ve got to do something Mark!

They hatch a plan, and later IHJM uses his tiny size to sneak into Tex Sinister’s headquarters, where he destroys all records of the Sinister Banana Corporation’s dealings with FARC, and leaves a strongly-worded memo urging Tex to wear an Inch-High Straight Talk Express pin when in public.
The show won’t spend too much time on IHJM’s back story, since the main focus will be the series of challenges he must face to defeat his opponent, the Dark Menace, in a general election. Of course, since IHJM frequently refers to his desire not to dwell on his war medals, which he uses for a table when guests visit the M&M’s pile, we will have to have a flashback episode. In that one IHJM is on a mission for the super-secret D.O.M.I.N.O. forces. He flies his tiny plane (Fig. 1) into the Viet Cong embassy to spy on them, and suddenly a bug hits the windshield and he crashes. For the next five years he is trapped under the sofa, until finally he escapes by leaving.
Obviously the show would be a great way to teach kids current events. But it could also be an action-packed fun zone with a lot of product-placement potential. What do you say, TV guys?

1 comment:

taylor said...

IHJM is sooo zanee!